Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tough Decision

I just wanted to write a little post to update you on my feelings about natural delivery. I have gotten a lot of feedback from people who I have scared to death about going natural. First of all, my story is unique. I HAD NO DOCTOR. My nurse had no idea what was happening and Tim basically delivered the baby. The chances of that happening to you are VERY slim. If I had been in a controlled environment with someone who knew what was happening, it could have been very different. Now, would the pain still have been there? Yes. And, honestly, the best description I can come up with is that it feels like someone is cutting you in half with a chainsaw while lighting your girl parts on fire. :)
BUT, here is the good news. It was only 15 minutes. I had no tearing. I feel like I never had a baby. (I homeschooled on Monday as soon as I walked in the door from the hospital). My bottom has not been sore one time since. My back doesn't hurt from the epidural. I don't have a spinal headache. My baby is CRAZY alert and has been since she was born. I am seeing benefit from doing it naturally. Yes, it is terrible, so brace yourself. But if you want to try it, YOU CAN DO IT! I don't want people to make this decision based on my nutty experience.
Had there been a doctor and a table set up, I think it would have been different. I basically had a home birth in a hospital.
You have to decide what is important to you. There is no easy way out of pregnancy.
I started to feel guilty about my pregnant blog readers who are considering going natural changing their minds because of my post... which was written about 8 hrs after I went through it.
Now, that I have had time to breathe, I can see benefit to natural deliveries.
Will I ever do it again?
No...Probably not.... Maybe.... I don't know.
I do know that if I do it again,
Tim won't be there.
My mom won't be there.
My doula won't be there
& my praying friends would not DARE experience it again with me.
They don't get the post-baby amnesia like I am starting to get. :)
But, I will cross that bridge if God blesses me enough to come to it.
My advice:
1. Pray about it.
2. Talk to your husbands.
3. Write down the reasons you are considering it.
Also, a lot of people have asked about my health. Unless God has healed me, the hormones that have been supressing my chronic illness are now dropping fast. The next 2 weeks are critical. We are praying so hard that (if He hasn't already) God would heal me.
For His glory!
I would appreciate your prayers during the next couple of weeks.
I love this darling little girl so much.
I am getting no sleep and my boys seem MUCH louder than they did before I had a baby but we are doing great and just taking in every single second of God's goodness.
"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."
Psalm 33:20-22


Lauren said...

"lighting your girl parts on fire" made me giggle.....

Can't wait for some family pics with H. :)

Anonymous said...

When I read this blog and the thoughts of the old symptoms coming back brought tears to my eyes. I will continue to pray for your health. Such a sweet young mother deserves to be healthy and enjoy raising her children.


Nic said...

Your last blog reminded me of when we studied the fight or flight response in Hypnobirthing class years ago. I hope it does not discourage anyone from having a natural birth. Your horrible, intense pain was a response to the situation. I'm glad that the horror has worn off a little. What matters is that you brought a sweet little one into the world. I went natural with Jonah. I think I would do it again, and it was crazy in a wonderful way. (Although I have never had an epidural and I am curious what a totally painless birth would be like.) I too felt like a million bucks after delivering. That was worth it to me!

The Hollimans said...

#4: Take Bradley natural childbirth classes. With your husband, of course. Nothing will prepare you better. They'll teach you all the reasons why it's better for the baby and you to have a natural birth. And how to cope with the pain.
Does it hurt a lot? Yes. With my first one I had a 4 hour transition(think 4 hours of getting cut in half with a chain saw) and my third one unfortunately I had to be induced. But any short-term pain is better than days or weeks or months of pain.
And my doctor wasn't there either with the last one. The nurse had been in the room for seconds and the bed caught the baby's head with the covers still on. The nurse was a little shocked. I don't blame the nurses for not being there because it took me all night and most of the morning to get to three cm, and then I went from three to baby born in an hour. He was the first baby she ever delivered so it must not happen too frequently :) But really, when they come that quickly, who needs a doctor?
Stephanie, we love you and will definitely be praying hard for your health. Hope is so sweet and seeing your pictures makes me want another baby, too :)And no, I'm not looking forward to the birth-giving either. If you want to try to go natural again, I'll come to the hospital with you:)

Jill said...

NO DOCTOR? Tim playing catch? Oh my! Yes, I am praying for you in earnest over the next two weeks and so on...That little girl is absolutely precious. Tim playing the guitar to her was a moment in time, thanks for sharing. You are being remembered here...just think of all those fun sunny days ahead of you with that cutie in her bikini! And you being whole.

Ann Katherine said...

Steph, what is going on with your health? I will be praying. I also have chronic health issues. So sorry! BTW, homebirth would have been so much better than what you went through. So sorry it went wrong. Take care!

jord,ali,hal,kam and grae too! said...

You will do it again and be better prepared...or at least make sure all around you are better prepared. Birth experiences are just that...experiences. We all have our different perspective and are all affected differently. Keep on sharing your story raw and how it felt to you!! My 2nd had a whole different feeling...I mean how can c sections be different?? right?? was pain free and one hurt hurt hurt...not supposed to be. Oh well!!! Even though my risks are huge I will still beg for vaginal birth with baby #3...wont get it but will still beg! Tim will forget too!!! hehe.

Becky said...

I'm so glad you posted this, because it did bother me that you were promoting epidurals, which can be dangerous in some cases. A friend of mine's sister in law got Bell's Palsy from her epidural.

Although it's REALLY hard, I consider natural childbirth to be a GIFT I gave to all four of my sons. I sacrificed my own comfort to make sure they came into this world in the best way possible.

I hope the next two weeks go smoothly for you and your health holds out.

fleurcottage said...

i had my babies on the other end of this spectrum. we have 5 children...all of them born natural w/out any kind of meds other than a little help w/ our last one due to loss of muscle elasticity. i was in labor 5 hrs w/ #1; #2 was 2'awake' hrs cause i slept through the 1st & 2nd stage; #3, born inside the hosp doors who also happened to be my biggest baby; #4 for five hrs & #5 12 hrs due to the above reason. i share this for an encouagement...many times the first one is harder because it's the first one. i'm sorry you had such a terrible time & baby Hope is adorable! our girls are nearly 12 years apart & having another one was delightful! ...blessedness!

TheSipeFamily said...

Listen sister- I knew not to go "all natural". I had a great experience the first go around. TO be honest though- your post blogging about it has been funny and I can totally see you re-enacting it all out. Glad you are enjoying that beautiful little girl!!!Also glad to hear your girl parts are doing well!! Ha Ha!!!! Tiffany

Stephanie C. said...

I do pray that you continue to be blessed with good health. I too had a "traumatic" birth experience with my second baby. I went into labor, had slow progress in dilating, spent 12 hours in the hospital in PAIN despite an epidural, waiting to see my doctor. When my doctor finally stopped by, he broke my water and left. The nurse (and my husband) ended up delivering my almost 9-pound daughter an hour later with no doctor in sight. My daughter's collar bone was broken, and I and my husband were seriously traumatized. I don't use that word lightly, and I can only imagine your sense of shock in your natural delivery! I don't think you should feel guilty about sharing your experience, I think that's part of processing it. I did wonder what you meant when you said that if you do it again, you won't have your husband, mom, or doula there. Would you do it alone? I can't imagine not having my husband there, although he probably wouldn't mind missing out :)

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness. I cannot imagine. Oh my goodness. I am so sad you went through that. If something would have been wrong with my baby, I think I would have just had a heart attack on the spot.

I said no one would be there because my mom already told me she wouldn't come again bc it was too scary for her. I couldn't ask Tim to go through it again and my poor doula has 2nd guessed her career.

It traumatized all of us.
Thanks for your sweet comment and sharing your story!

Melody said...

You crack me up! I see so much of my personality in you. I have had four children and had epidurals with all of them. I never had any reactions to my epidural and my babies were all born healthy and alert (well not my 32 week twins) but that goes with out saying. Like you I had three boys and then a girl. My labor and delivery with her was amazing and perfect. I enjoyed it (after I got my epidural). It was fast, painless and I gave birth to an alert baby girl that looked just like her Daddy! (isn't that how it works?!) She is 5 years old now and rules the house. She has her Daddy and brothers wrapped around her finger. She will NEVER date!

I thought your post was funny and so honest. You didn't try to sound like super woman like you totally could of. I hope your husband, Mom and doula have recovered well.

Congratulations on your new baby girl! There is just nothing like it.

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog was as if I wrote it about my experience 6 months ago. almost to the "T". I pass out when they take my blood... so I was brave to have a baby without meds. big sissy. But I insisted. I didnt want a needle in my back. I was alone 2 except my hubby was there, and when her head was half way out, the Dr. showed up.She was born so fast that her head was perfect! And YES, it hurt! BAD. But, it was only for like 20-30 minutes, which really felt like 5. So I will do it again!! Your baby is beautiful, and even looks like mine in one of the pics. so sweet. congrats!

Shannon said...

congrats on your baby girl!!! she is beautiful!!! i loved your honesty. your family is amazing!