Tuesday, November 19, 2013


"Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to Him,
(which is to say, Teacher)."
John 20:16

I have just started teaching Hope how to read and write. She is smart. I am very thankful God gave me a smart husband because his smart-person-DNA has helped make homeschooling a little easier. 
I am convinced she is going to be a lawyer when she grows up she argues about everything! HA! We are working on that. Talking about what the Bible says about arguing and complaining and having a gentle and quiet spirit. 
I love the way God has made her. I absolutely do not want to change that. 
Before we start her reading lesson, she and I pray. I taught her to ask Jesus to be her "Rabbi" or her Teacher. 
So, everyday, we ask that Jesus would teach her to read so that she will be able to read the Bible.
That has always been the goal for each child. As soon as they are able to read basic words, we start reading Psalms.


I can't stop thinking about Mary calling Jesus "Rabboni" after she realizes He has raised from the dead. 
Of all the responses she could have used, I have always been fascinated by this one. It was early and maybe still dark in the garden when Jesus comes to her. She thinks he is the gardener. Isn't it wild that she didn't recognize the One her heart was earnestly searching for? But then, He spoke HER NAME and she recognized Him immediately. Be encouraged if you feel alone and searching, that He is near to you. You just may not recognize Him at first. Ask Him to speak your name and cling to Him in the darkness. 
He is faithful. He conquered death. He did it for you.
The curtain that separated you from Him was torn. 
Do you know His voice? Have you ever heard it? 
Are you in a relationship with Him? 
The way you know His voice is to be familiar with His Words.
Is He your "Rabbi"? Are you spending time with Him in His Word?
Not books and devotionals--- His Word.
Follow Him. He walks ahead of you. He loves you so much.
"he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice."
John 10
Mary must have felt so alone and then all of the sudden, she hears His voice and HER NAME.
She embraces His feet and says "Rabboni".
Ahhhh. I love that Word! It sounds so POWERFUL.
This Word means "Master, Teacher, Prince". 
It means "my Great Master... the most honorable of all".
Her heart was submissive, full of respect. He had been her Teacher
I want that for Hope. I want that for me. 
When Jesus calls my name and I see Him face-to-face, I want to be able to say, "Rabboni".
I want Him to teach me His Word. I want Him to teach my children His Word. 

The first month after I have a baby is especially hard for me. It feels like I am going to die of exhaustion. It is a dark time. It seems impossible. I think it is impossible yet somehow God gets me through it. The next months are hard too but the spiritual fog seems to lift a little after the first 6 weeks. I love my baby so much. He is starting to make eye contact with me now and smile. Maybe that is when I know I have lived through the worst of it, when my sweet baby looks at me and smiles.
Everybody asks if we will have more. I always thought so but our quiver is seeming VERY FULL now. 
I want to know each child. I want to throw football with my boys in the backyard. I want to have tea parties with Hope and teach her how to play softball. I want to come alongside them in life. Being available to them. Not just until they are 18. 
I don't want to be so tired that I am no good to anyone... especially my husband. I miss Tim during this season. He sleeps in another room so I can be up with the baby all night while he goes to work the next day. I am not good at getting babies to sleep through the night. Maybe I will be better this time. But, I am so ready to be back in the land of the living. Knowing when your family is complete is such a hard/prayerful decision. I have wrestled for years over this. I want ALL God has for me. When I gave Him my life, I gave Him my all! Life is beautiful. I love that God lets us be involved in His amazing process of having children. I never dreamed we would have 6 children yet God gave us the desire and the abilities to do it.  You have to know your capacities and abilities. You also have to know your marriage and what it can sustain. There is SO MUCH that goes into this decision. 
Children are SUCH a blessing. I never dreamed motherhood would be so wonderful. It really is. I would rather be with my children than anywhere else. A romantic getaway once a year is nice but we always want to come back home. 
I would love to have another one but I am so tired and I am starting to feel old. I am 36. Tim is 40 now. He says if we have anymore they will start calling him "dad-pa". :) I looked at some pictures from when Reece was a baby. We looked so young. That was 10 years ago. Now, granted, we have been through some MAJOR trials since then that took a toll on us but we definitely feel maxed out. God has told me to teach my children His Word. More than anything, I want to do that WELL. I also want to love my husband WELL. 
Tim and I feel so happy. So blessed. So full. So content. It is hard to describe. We were at the aquarium the other night when all the kids were running around and laughing when Tim said, "These are precious times". He doesn't usually do that. I think because we have been going 200 miles an hour for the last 10 years. We haven't had a lot of time to stop and let it soak in. We are both all of the sudden wanting time to stop instead of speed ahead to the next season of life. Tim said "Rhett is going to be Reece's age so fast. I want to enjoy the little ones. Crew is just JOY and Hope brings so much color to our lives. She is wide-eyed to the world and just so amazingly gifted."
This was a new side of Tim. It made me fall in love with him even more. We seem older and wiser now... knowing how precious time is. One day we will be holding hands in rocking chairs wishing for these days. I want to live life to the fullest. Making the most of every opportunity. I hope I can remember these days. My brain is fried from lack of sleep. That is why I write and take lots of pictures. 

"Let the light of your face shine on us."
Ps  4:6

 Tim, my beloved. He truly is amazing to watch.

Jesus, be our RABBONI. Teach us your Word. Teach us to follow you.
"Lead me by your truth and teach me"
Ps 25:5

"Teach me your ways, O Lord,
that I may live according to your truth!"
Ps 86:11
Be Blessed~


Mom to 3 said...

Thank you for writing these posts in your incredibly busy season of your life. You are very encouraging to other moms. I know you are encouraging to me. I hope you have a lovely day!

Anonymous said...

The way you weave together a story about your family, your experiences, God's Word, and encouragement for us readers just knocks my socks off -- what a gift you have -- such a blessing to me, and to others, I've no doubt.
Thank you, Steph.