Hi, my name is Stephanie. :) I am the girl who used to blog during her little boys' nap time. I started this blog when I was pregnant with my now 16 year old! I wanted my mom to be able to see pictures of the kids. What I could have never dreamed was as I journaled through life as a stay-at-home mom that people would be interested. But God used blogging back in those days to bring people together, to share the gospel, and for discipleship. I was allowed to see the life of a mom with a large family. She was happy, in love with her husband, and loving her kids. I had seriously never seen anything like it. I read every word she wrote and it changed my life. We need to "see" things.
It was the heart of Jesus.
He said to them, “Come and see.”
I didn't realize my blog was a "come and see" for younger girls who had never seen a Christian marriage. College girls started reading my blog because I talked about how I fell in love with Tim and they were intrigued. God used this blog to open doors for conference call Bible Studies, on-line Bible studies, and retreats where we were able to pour into girls. I made REAL life friends. Friends who are still my friends! Girls gave their lives to Jesus and turned from sin. It was just plain exciting to watch God moving. All while I was a stay-at-home mom praying to be used by God.
As the years passed, God answered our prayers for more children and miraculously filled our hearts with 8! There was no more nap time. Our life got really really busy and HARD. No time to blog or sleep or eat for a few years. The trials don't stop when you have babies so we were just trying to survive. My dad and my grandparents all died in a short amount of time and the grief was heavy. I had to have surgery on my back and Tim had a double hip replacement. I honestly have no idea how we made it through it all. But we relied on the love God had for us and He showed Himself strong when we were weak. He is still doing that.
We built our dream house for ministry a few years ago. It was a huge project and a huge blessing... and well just huge. lol. Too huge and too much to take care of. So, we had a blast living there and using it for ministry for a couple years and then decided we were ready to slow down and simplify.
We sold our dream house and now we live in a dream house God gave us on the lake. I can't tell you what a gift this place has been. It is Psalm 23 living. Still waters really do restore your soul. There is peace here and we love being together on the boat. Tim is a brilliant builder and has built some of the most beautiful homes but I can tell you with 100% confidence: STUFF DOESN'T SATISFY.
Tim and I both know that. Creating beautiful things is part of being made in the image of God. He is Elohim (Creator) so when we are creating, we are getting to use our God-given talents and abilities. Years ago a carpet cleaner man gave me great advice. I had to call him because one of my little boys had pretty much sharpied my entire house while I thought he was napping. As I was in tears over my leather furniture, he said. "Don't go falling in love with things that won't love you back." That is true but not as true as:
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
The more you have, the more you have to worry about. I crave peace and simplicity. The cool thing is that we have been able to share what God has allowed us to build with others. That was my favorite thing about that house. Watching others have fun on the property and hosting huge events. It just got to be too much time and energy to take care of the property. We wanted to have more time to have fun with our kids.
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After over 20 years, I am still madly in love with Tim. It is a different kind of love. He is like my hunky navy seal combat partner after all the spiritual battles we have faced over the years. Our love is deep. I am so thankful to have such a strong leader and co-laborer, co-prayer warrior, co-parent, co-CUTIE, co-dreamer, co-kisser. :) I want to enrich his life. I want to be a good helper. Our marriage hasn't been easy because life is not easy with so many kids and so much opposition in the spiritual realm. But our marriage is RICH because of prayer, our faith in Jesus, and the miracles we have witnessed.
"Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?"
Proverbs 20:6
By God's grace, I did find a faithful man. Thank you, Jesus.
Single girls, pray for God to lead you to a "faithful man".
It is hard for me to look at this blog. Two of my boys are college-age now. The days of matching clothes and naps are over now. So much has changed. I am in a new season of mothering with the older kids that requires a lot of trust and prayer. Not trust in my mothering but trust in God's grace and His promise to complete the work He starts. My trust is in the Holy Spirit's work in their lives and the fact that God's Word is with them. I know it is in them because I planted those seeds. Now, I pray and trust... and wait like a patient farmer.
"See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop,
patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm"
James 5:7-8
I am asking God to water the seeds and the Holy Spirit to cause them to break open and spring forth a valuable crop.
Instead of biting my nails (which I have done a lot over the last 2 years), I have to continue to be faithful to do what God is calling me to do: to teach my younger kids to know and serve God. And to ask God how He wants to use me now. There are no "good old days" with Jesus because He saves the best for NOW (John 2:10). And it is always "now". So we can always look forward to the best days of our lives when we walk with the Lord. Live with expectancy.
The last year our family has walked through an excrutiatingly painful trial. I have walked through a lot of trials over the last 20 years but nothing like this. If it weren't for the power of God, I would not be moving forward. Through our family's pain, God has been working in us. One of the supernatural things He is doing in me is allowing me to see other people's pain.
The other night we were dropping Reece off at college and we went out to eat. As we were walking in the restaurant, there was a big tough dad yelling at his daughter in their car. I saw it as we walked in. He was cussing her out and berating her. She was in a softball uniform and about Hope's age (13ish). She was alone in a jeep with him and it was awful to witness. Then they walked in and sat at a table across from us. Her mom and brother were there and the dad continued to cuss her out at the table. She had no one coming to her defense. The mom sat quietly. The dad was drinking a beer. It was obvious nobody dared challenge him. She walked into the bathroom and I followed her. In the bathroom behind closed doors, I said- "are you ok?". She just stared. I said, "you need help. God sees what is going on and He wants to help you". Tears began to pour down her cheeks. I said, "I want to help you". She said "do you have your phone?". I ran back to the table to grab my phone and she gave me her number.
God is El Roi- the God Who SEES.
He is giving me His eyes to SEE.
The next day at Church I saw a lady across the room and I could see pain written all over her face.
The other night at the pool I talked to a 93 year old lady for a long time about her life. She was so full of the Spirit and beauty, it blew me away. I thought to myself, "she must have had an easy life to have this much joy". Then her daughter told me that years ago she and her beloved husband were vacationing in Daytona beach. They were celebrating his retirement and walking hand in hand on the beach when a drunk driver hit them and killed her husband. She was in a critical condition in a coma and went through a long and painful recovery. Now, here she was all these years later talking to me about the goodness of the Lord. She spoke with kindness. She had known the deepest pain yet come out beautiful and tender instead of bitter and hardened. How? Only forgiveness and knowing the love of Jesus could do that. Now, she was ministering to me. She was showing me that trials can make you more lovely.
I want God to lead me to these people. I want Him to take me to the hurting captives because He has given us the keys to open their prison doors. God, where are they? Where are the people you want me to go to with Your Word and Your hope?
Recently I read the passage about the disciples fishing all night and Jesus telling them where to cast their nets.
"So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn."
John 21:3-6, 10-11
When I read that passage, I thought- "I want to catch 153 large fish".
"God, can you still use me? Have I aged out of the system? Can you still pour your Spirit out on me to reach people? Will you show me where they are? Show me where to cast my nets. Help me to catch 153 large fish. I want to lead 153 people to you before I die."
That is my current prayer. I am weaker than I have ever been because of the trials. But isn't that when I am strongest? I am more broken-hearted than I have ever been but isn't that when God is closest?
So, I ordered some tracts to be ready to share the gospel. I am praying for eyes to see the people God wants me to share good news with.
Maybe it's you? Are you one of my 153 I have prayed for?
Are you hurting? Do you need hope and to know that God truly will use all things together for good IF YOU LOVE HIM. Do you love Him? He loves you.
Have you ever been honest with God about your sin and need for a Savior?
When I was 19 years old all alone in my room, I opened my Bible and saw my need for a Savior. I knew I was not going to heaven if I continued to live in sin and rebellion.
I didn't want to pretend anymore. I said, "God, please forgive me. I need your forgiveness. If I can know You, I want to KNOW You".
He met me in that moment and quickened me. He brought me to life. Everything changes when you surrender your life to Jesus.
Don't put it off any longer. Be reconciled to God through Jesus. Heaven throws a party every time a sinner repents.
REPENT. TURN AROUND. RE-ROUTE.
If you are trapped in sin or addiction, there is freedom through Christ.
Jesus sets captives free.
Today is the day of salvation. God will treat you better than you would ever treat yourself. He has plans for you that will blow your mind. But you have to TRUST Him.
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my strength and my defense[;
He has become my salvation.”
Is 12:2
Who wants to join me in becoming a fisher of men?
It's time. There is a hurting world out there. We need to ask God to give us CREATIVITY to know how to build His house. We need to ask Him where to cast our nets. And I am specifically asking God to help me lead 153 people to Christ.
If you are hurting, please email me. I want to pray for you.
tsblackiston@comcast.net
Do not suffer alone. God sees your pain. He took your pain upon Himself so that by His stripes, you could be healed.
May God bless you today.
Give your time and attention to prayer and to being in the Word today.
God wants to reveal Himself to you.
All my heart,
Steph
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