This blog and photography have been such an outlet for me as I walk through this trial. I think it is a way for me to express my emotions and also to process. I had a crazy idea today after hearing a verse from Psalm 61. Tim was kind enough to help me... so was Diana Simpson (don't forget about the photography class she is doing at my house-- contact me asap if you want to come!).
Tim never really knows what is going on in my head but is so sweet to humor me and just want to be with me. (I love him so much!!)
Lately, as I struggle to make sense of my circumstances, I feel very vulnerable. Emotionally and spiritually, I am tired. The girl that Jesus resurrects (Luke 8)gives me hope because sometimes I feel lifeless and unable to pray or bring anything of worth to the throne of God. Most of the time I am the persistent widow, but often there are the times where I am just plain TIRED OF THIS.
There is a place the Bible talks about called the wilderness.
The wilderness/desert is a lonely, dark place. A place no one would choose to go. A vulnerable place. A place where souls feel parched and dried out. Yet, God took pretty much every mighty man in scripture there.
None of us like being in the wilderness and waiting on God's deliverance. I know I am impatient... I want out NOW!!! But, we have to remember, God is preparing us and pouring into us during those times.
Jesus went there and was strengthened for what was to come(Luke 4), Moses went there- remember the burning bush? yep, that was while he was in the desert (Acts 7:29,30), Paul went there before he started preaching to be taught by The Spirit (Galatians 1:15-18), David in preparation to be King (1 Samuel 23:13-17).
There is a common thread in all of these stories...
PREPARATION and GROWTH.
So, as I continue to wander through my own little wilderness, God meets me and He teaches me, and He leads me, and He loves me, and He gives me riches, and He gives me glimpses of the Promised Land, and He gives me hope, and He gives me His Word, and He gives me Himself, and He shows me His Glory.
I wanted to have some pictures to remind ME of His purpose in these dark days and to encourage any of you who are also in the wilderness a few trees away from me.;) I really wish I could find you to give you a hug. But God is also summoning you by name and I know God will comfort you just as He has me.
I have on this dress as a symbol that no matter where we are, as a child of God, we are royalty. We have been bestowed beauty by Christ. We never lose our position in the wilderness. As Christians, we are ALWAYS co-heirs with Christ.
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co‑heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."
Satan does not want you to realize the power found in these wilderness places. There will be many escape routes offered (often through drugs) so that you cannot receive what is offered. Believe me, I want an escape route out of my suffering too but I don't want to miss what God is teaching me. I want to be sober-minded so when God speaks, I hear Him.
Be encouraged if you are suffering. Encouraged that He is there with you and that He will comfort you, teach you and prepare you for a future you could have never dreamed of.
Pray for a heart of submission. Pray for me to have one as well. It is a daily struggle.
God will meet you in your suffering. He is there. It doesn't matter if you FEEL Him, He is there. He will lead you to Himself, the Rock that is higher than your circumstances.
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."
"I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."
"He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and
broke away their chains."
"From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.