Friday, April 17, 2009

Believing.

I know there are so many needs greater than mine but I am writing in need of your prayer.

Yesterday, I spoke to the Dr in New York about what is going on. I told him how difficult the last couple of weeks have been for me.
( Side note: I have been homeschooling in bed. The boys love it! When the baby is sleeping, we pray, say scripture and read books for hours while snuggled up in my big, comfy bed. They have no idea this isn't exactly ideal. :)
My Dr. believes we need to cut back on my dosage of medicine- that it may be too much. I was thankful to hear that. At the end of our conversation, he said if we don't see a response from this next round, he will be putting me back on intravenous meds. My heart sank. I have already had 2 picc lines in the past and have 2 scars on my arms that remind me of the 17 weeks of misery I endured. I had one while I was pregnant with Lake (he was very unplanned and a gift straight from heaven-- God is so good).
A picc line is an IV that goes directly into your heart, pumping powerful antibiotics in to fight the infection. Effective yet HORRIBLE.

I said to the Dr., "and what if it DOES respond?". He said,
"then you are HOME FREE."

Oh, I felt like I could almost touch the freedom. So close!!!

So, I am asking you to pray that God will heal me during this final try with the oral antibiotics.
I know this whole thing is so crazy from the outside. I would have thought I was emotionally unstable and a hypochondriac had it not been ME. (Oh, how I wish I was making this up). Here is the deal... Because the drs missed it and I was misdiagnosed, I missed my window of opportunity in the beginning. If you catch Lyme disease early, it is no big deal. If you miss it, you are in TROUBLE. Some people fully recover, some never do. I cannot have another child because it can be passed to the baby during pregnancy and I am not healthy enough to take care of a newborn at this point anyway.
My main symptoms are arthritic pain, headaches, and just feeling like I have flu aches all the time. (You know when you have a fever and your neck or your muscles get sore?-- that is it.) The intensity changes daily. I am terrible at describing the symptoms so it is a pure miracle that you haven't discounted me as a 'girl who says she sick-but doesn't look sick- weird person'. Most of the time, I don't want to talk about the nightmare this has been so I pretend like it isn't real.
The good news is because I have had really great symptom-free weeks, the dr is very encouraged that there will be no irreversible damage.
I could give you lots of confusing Lyme disease information but I have never felt like this has anything to do with who I am. I don't want it to identify me and the whole disease is maddening anyway.
Basically, I am a child of God who has suffered with physical pain.
We all have trials. This happens to be mine.
I have seen God use this trial in ways I never dreamed possible. I am SO thankful that He has shown me His ability to redeem our darkest days and make them something beautiful.
But, now, I feel like freedom is within reach!
I believe this battle will be won by prayer more than antibiotics.
I have about 2 or 3 months for God to say,
"Peace, Be still"
to my storm and it WILL immediately bow in submission.
I know He can do it.
I am believing He will do it.
Total healing. Total Glory. All Jesus.
I loved the story on Beth Moore's blog when she talked about her friend with cancer that asked friends to pray. Beth said,
" She sought the Lord for Scriptures then told us what to pray for her and how to pray and that,
if we were going to doubt, not to bother."
I intend to pray in faith that God is going to intervene with my health. If He doesn't... because of His greater (and better) will for my life, that is ok. His grace will sustain me no matter what and my faith will not be shaken.
BUT, IT WON'T BE ON ACCOUNT OF MY LACK OF FAITH.
I am the persistent widow. :)
"yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her,
lest by her continual coming she weary me.' "
Luke 18:5
************
If you will pray and believe God for healing along with me in the next few months,
please leave me a comment simply saying,
"Believing".
Believing God can heal me.
Believing God will heal me.
Believing God does what is best.
But, this isn't all about me.
I want you to also enter into that throne room boldly for YOUR situation.
After my last post, I heard from some of you about fighting despair in your own storms and
I couldn't stop thinking about these words...
"I will go before you and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron."
Isaiah 45:2
Girls, these verses speak clearly...God does the impossible.
Think your situation is impossible? Mine is too, but it doesn't matter.
He levels mountains, breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.
Get in His Word, and get on your knees and ask Him to rescue you from your bondage.
"Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us,
he is able to accomplish INFINITELY MORE
than we would ever dare to ask or hope."
Ephesians 3:20
:) :) :)
How about this verse I just found?!?!
(would love for you to pray this one over me)...
"But he lifted the needy out of their affliction and increased their families like flocks."
Psalm 107:41
My heart's desire packed into one tiny verse!!!!
Tim is wishing I hadn't found this one. ;)

Email me if I can pray for you.

Believing~

Steph

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

BELIEVING, STEPH, DEFINITELY BELIEVING! I LOVE YOU, DEAR SISTER! lauren

Keri said...

Believing and praying, friend! :)

kelly said...

BELIEVING!

Leah said...

We are praying for you! :)

Noah's Mommy said...

Believing!

Anonymous said...

Believing. With all my heart.

Bonnie

Anonymous said...

BELIEVING for your continued healing, thankful for no permanent damage to your body, proud of my girl! hang in there, baby. Tim

Alexandra said...

Stephanie,

You don't know me, but I'm friends with Sarah, Becca and Emily, whose Tuesday night study you guest appeared in. :)

I got to your blog off of Sarah's.... know you're being prayed for! right now. :)

<><

Anonymous said...

Believing!!!

Mimi

Julie said...

Believing with all that is in me!!! (Hugs)

Angela said...

Praying and believing, Steph. That was a wonderful post! :)

Anonymous said...

Definitely. Troy and I are meeting with our church leaders tomorrow night. I will present this to them and without a doubt, we will pray. They are powerful prayer warriors! Keep the faith- you are on the road to your miracle. It is God's will for you to be healed- Jesus took it to the Cross so that you may have an abundant life. Maybe one day we will get to finally meet your beautiful family! Much Love, Hayley C.

The Skinner 3 said...

I am believing and praying!
Selena

Marina said...

BELIEVING AND PRAYING! HE IS ABLE!!! Love, Marina

Adrienne said...

Believing! I am praying for you and my Biblestudy here in GA will pray for you! No doubts!
Thank you for your witness!
Adrienne

Anonymous said...

Praying God will be most glorified be healing you, COMPLETELY!

Anonymous said...

Completely Believing!
Mellette

The Hawkinson Gang said...

Believing!

Anna said...

BELIEVING with all my heart, all my faith, and leaning on His Grace. Love you, girl.

Erin said...

Believing.

Kendra said...

BELIEVING!

Kendra said...

BELIEVING!!!!!

gillian said...

BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dawn said...

Believing...obeying...growing

April said...

Believing...and praying for The Fathers Will for you, in the name of His Son Jesus, Amen!

lesliemarie said...

Believing that this time next year, you won't even remember all the bad stuff! :)

Julie and Luke said...

I'm believing girl! I LOVE YOU!

The Osborne Family said...

Totally Believing! We will have are small group start praying too!

melissa pell said...

Believing!

Mary T said...

BELIEVING!

Amanda May said...

B-E-L-I-E-V-I-N-G !!!!!!

Erin Cabell said...

believing with all my heart

Amanda said...

Believing

Carrie said...

Believing!

Believing you are meant to continue this testimony as a healthy wife and mother of more beautiful babies! ;)

Anonymous said...

Believing with my whole heart.

Stacy said...

Believing!

Amy said...

Believing!

maryanne420 said...

BELIEVING!

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Believing girlfriend! BELIEVING! :)
I love you!

ocean mommy said...

Hi Stephanie, I'm here via Angela at Refresh My Soul. :)

I am believing with you sweet sister.

Praying right now.

blessings,
stephanie

Rebekah Stanfill said...

believing!

Rebekah Stanfill said...

believing!

Anonymous said...

Hey girl! We love you and have been praying for you...I have tried to call the past couple of days but haven't gotten you - I got a precious "haalllloooooo" this morning and then a precious "click" - so...who knows which of those cute boys I talked to - probably Bubba - Anyway - if you get a chance please email me and let me know how you are :)
Love to you all -cherie

Anonymous said...

believing...

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http://noahsteven.blogspot.com/2008/03/ordinary.html

Anonymous said...

believing...

Have you ever checked out this blog

http://noahsteven.blogspot.com

Jord, Ali, Halle and Belle said...

praying. praying. praying!!

Anonymous said...

Believing.

Tara said...

Believing!

Lifting you up to the Lord tonite.

Jill said...

BELEIVING....

powell's said...

BELIEVE...Matthew 21:21-22 NIV

Super B's Mom said...

Lifting you up in prayer. You are an amazingly strong woman.

Jennie said...

Yippee! I LOVE YOU! And I do believe for YOU and sweet KRISTEN!

Check out my memory verse last week...
'If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt. Because, he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he would receive anything from the Lord. He's a double-minded man, unstable in all he does' James 1:5-8

Right on!
BIG LOVE,
Jennie

Kristy said...

Believing with intensity!
I love you.

Suzanne said...

I am believing. Emma and I are praying for you. She loves your blog and seeing the pictures of your kids. I am claiming it for you.

Suzanne

Lisa B. said...

Believing!