Tuesday, June 30, 2009

THE post.

Tim and I had the shock of our lives Father's Day Weekend. I got home from the beach and started to have some weird things happening. I thought to myself, "when was the last time I had my period?". Life had been so busy, I absolutely could not remember. Was I late? No way. We were so careful. There is NO way I could be pregnant. Good thing because the drs just told me it wouldn't be a good idea.
My friend Deena and I were going to a wedding that night. Tim stayed home with the boys. He had no clue these thoughts were going through my head. In the car on the way to the wedding, I said to Deena (one of my best friends in the whole world)..."Deena, I think I might be late. Could we pick up a pregnancy test so I will quit having crazy thoughts?". She was excited but we were running late and couldn't stop until after the wedding. During the wedding, I talked myself out of it and convinced myself I was making it all up in my head. After all, it would be the WORST timing for this as my treatments were really starting to work and I seemed to be making a lot of progress.
So, on the way home we stopped at CVS. We had talked the whole car ride about what if I am, when would the baby be due, what if it was a girl, what if it was a boy... totally doing what girls do... IMAGINING. The whole time I was thinking..."but it would be IMPOSSIBLE!". There is just simply no way. And, Tim would D I E.
We stopped at CVS and as we walked in, Deena said, "What do you want me to pray?". I said, "I don't know. I will breathe a sigh of relief it is negative because of my health but if it is positive, I would be overwhelmed with thanks for the baby I have prayed and prayed to be able to have!".
It seemed like it took an hour for us to find the pregnancy tests then it seemed like it took another hour for the lady to ring us up. I couldn't wait to take it at home and didn't want Tim to know any of this was going on so we used the bathroom in CVS. :) It was so cute because Deena waited on me while I took the test. IT WAS IMMEDIATELY POSITIVE. I opened the door and held up the test. We started jumping and yelling and crying. The CVS people came to see if we were ok. We said, "ehh-hmmm. yes. we are fine." and darted out the door. The CVS lady came chasing us into the parking lot to bring me my purse I had left in there.
The world started to spin. Was this real? No way. How could I be pregnant? I thought I would have to wait years. The plan was for God to heal me and then we would plan (I used to know what that word meant... and this one-CONTROL)on trying for "number four" after much thought and prayer (and fun trying!!!).
AUGHHHHHHH!
Are you kidding me, God?? Really?? You have really done this for me?
What is Tim going to say? How am I going to tell him? Do I need to stop my natural stuff? Do I need to start back on antibiotics?
I am absolutely STUNNED.
Where am I again? Oh yeah, CVS parking lot with a positive pregnancy test..
Wait a minute!!
WHAT? HOW? Oh, God THANK YOU!!
God has given me the child I thought I would have to wait years for!!
*************************************
I already had a Father's Day card. I stuck the test in it after I got home and wrote a verse that God had given me on our honeymoon out of Malachi about our children. I sat on the back porch and prayed while Tim was watching T.V.
He came outside. I said, "I have a Father's Day card for you!". He said, "Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you so much honey." .....
He opened the card.
The pregnancy test fell into his lap.
Silence.
He said, "really???".
Deep breath. Deep breath.
Long conversation (about the faithfulness of God).
Deep breath.
Deep Breath.
**********************************
New Life.
Precious Baby.
Unplanned.
Desperately wanted.
Welcome to our family sweet gift from God.
You are SO loved.



























































I cut 10 inches off my hair today for Locks for Love. I am still getting used to it. Tim loves it and the boys told me I look like a princess so I guess that is all that matters. I prefer my hair long but it was so fun to think of it being made into a wig and I needed a change.
(FYI.. I stole this fun location idea from super cool photographer Rich Smith).





Yikes... 10 inches. Oh well. You only live once and hair grows back, right? Please don't tell me you liked my hair better long because I know I look way better with long hair but I took the plunge anyway!
I love this picture of the 3 boys sleeping in the same room. We aren't sure what to do with Lake because he is climbing out of his crib again. We tried putting him in the boys room this night but there was an awful lot of giggling going on. Not sure I am ready for this. BUT THEY WERE SO CUTE.
This is going to be a long, hot summer as I am already very nauseous. I am not exactly sure how far along I am but not more than 6 weeks. I started craving tomatoes which is exactly what I craved with the boys so... I am coming to terms with the fact I might have 4 boys in February. I told Tim I will just need one night in the insane asylum after we are told it is a boy so I can go crazy. Then, I will be up for the challenge. But, who knows maybe it is a girl. I already have a name for her if it is.
God knows. I am thankful His ways are higher than ours.
I just pray we are able to keep this gift for a long, long time.
We are still trying to process this and there is much fear but to God be the glory for all He has done in our lives!
Here is the Psalm Tim read over me the other night and inserted my name as he read....
"O Lord, 'Stephanie' rejoices in your strength.
How great is 'her' joy in the victories you give
You have granted 'her' the desire of 'her' heart
and have not withheld the request of 'her' lips.

You welcomed 'her' with rich blessings
and placed a crown of pure gold on 'her' head.

'SHE' ASKED YOU FOR LIFE, AND YOU GAVE IT TO 'HER'—
length of days, for ever and ever...

Surely you have granted 'her' eternal blessings
and made 'her' glad with the joy of your presence.

For 'Stephanie' trusts in the Lord;
through the unfailing love of the Most High
'she' will not be shaken.
Psalm 21

35 comments:

Angela said...

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your hair looks FABULOUS and I am so, so excited for you, Tim, your boys, and this new life! Praise GOD!

AJ said...

I am in tears reading this. God is so Good. I am SO happy for you, Tim and the boys. You are one amazing Mom.

deana211 said...

Congrats! Congrats! So happy for you and your family!!!!

Anonymous said...

AMEN! Your hair and your belly are both very beautiful!!

Heather said...

I smiled through every line of this post :) What incredible news, congratulations!

p.s. - short hair rocks

p.p.s. - though your boys are the cutest on the block, I am praying a girl your way ;)

Jill said...

I am LOVIN the hair....and lovin the new baby...Girl you are one stinkin great gift to all those boys...what's one more! Yet a girl would be so cool too....Thanks for the good news to pray about.

Carrie said...

Oh, Stephanie...I was on the edge of my seat reading this! God is AWESOME! What a funny story to tell your baby how you found out you were pregnant! ;) I LOVE your hair, too! I donated my hair about a year ago also, and it's starting to get long again! It's so hard to get used to, but I also love my hair short, too! It will grow fast! You're gorgeous no matter what! I'm so happy for you..thanks for sharing your joy with us!

{my word verification is 'retail'...how funny!}

April said...

This is wonderful news!!
My jaw is still on the floor :)
WOW!!!!
My mind is going crazy thinking of all the things I want to say!!!

I will just have to call you sometime :):)

Love you guys!!

Erin Cabell said...

congratulations. what else is needed to be said when you have such a wonderful gift growing and one that you wanted so badly - God is good.

Jon and Katie said...

YEA!!!!!!!! Congrats!!! Your posts are always so encouraging and I so enjoy reading them. This one makes me smile very big just because I know from your previous posts how this was the desire of your heart. I have also witnessed (on your blog) you delighting in the Lord even when things of the world are hard. (How I admire this about you!) Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." What a gift!

Kim said...

Congratulations! I am so happy for you and your beautiful family. God's timing is PERFECT!

Kim P.
www.tryingtopleasehim.blogspot.com
www.journeytohannah.com

paulandbecca said...

Congrats! that is such a testimony of God's provision. we are praying for you guys and sweet baby. i would love to talk to you while i am stateside, i will email you. love, becca

Bryce and Lisa said...

Yeah, steph. i am so excited for you !!! I know how much you have prayed for this child. May God heal you 100% and take care of this baby :)

jord,ali,hal,kam and grae too! said...

YAY. YAY. YAY!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS! Screaming that all the way from Illinois!! Hope you can hear it!!

Victoria said...

oh the tears!

God is so good, His was is perfect! I am so happy for you!

Your health, and your sweet baby will be in our prayers!

Oh, and your hair...SO GREAT!!

P.S. I was shopping for choc. chips today, and noticed an abundance of cinnamon chips...should you EVER need any!!

Erin said...

Congratulations!!!

I am so encouraged with this reminder that God is a God of miracles and joy.

YOUR HAIR LOOKS SUPER MODEL GORGEOUS!!!

Love you and your little one!! :)

Tara said...

Congratulations!!! Loved reading your happy news this morning!! What a blessing!

Btw...LOVE your hair!!

*Tabitha* said...

YAY!!! CONGRATS : )
Im a SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!

XoXo

Tabitah

Amanda said...

Congratulations Stephanie! You are so blessed. I am constantly praying for God to heal you completely...now I will add this wonderful miracle baby! And I love the short hair...it is nice to have a change...and don't worry, it will grow back quickly, but have fun with it!!

Stacy said...

This is SO exciting! God is so amazing. Congratulations on this exciting news. You and I will have little ones about the same age, as I am due in January with my third.

I will be praying for a healthy pregnancy for you and a wonderful delivery.

By the way, I love the scripture you have in the boys' room!

Julie said...

I read your post on Facebook last night and literally was in tears and then reading this now - I still can't believe it and am just SO HAPPY for you and Tim! What an unbelievable blessing!!! I have already prayed so many prayers for you, your health, this new life...and will continue. You deserve nothing less than the happiness of a new life growing inside of you! Still having chills for you....

And I love your haircut! What a great cause and a great cut for summer!!!

Hugs and prayers!

Taylor said...

WOW!!!! Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you and praising the Lord for his faithfulness!!! Amazing.

And I LOVE your hair!!!

Praying for you and Baby!

gillian said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS AWESOME NEWS!!! I am so happy for you and will to continue to pray for you health and for the new baby :) you new do is beautiful! and I LOVE the Psalm Tim read over you, how perfectly beautiful!

James 1:16-18

Lauren Barca said...

Steph-
Congratulations!! Thank you for sharing this on your blog. I am rejoicing for you--babies are such a blessing!!!

Lisa B. said...

Congratulations, Stephanie! I'm excited for you and Tim and will be praying that all goes well with baby :) Thank you for being so honest and refreshiingly transparent - I love reading your posts and see how you love God, Tim and your boys!!!

Amy said...

Congratulations! Wishing you a very healthy pregnancy.
Your hair looks fabulous!

Anonymous said...

oh my oh my oh my - I almost called today b/c I hadn't seen you guys in a while - definitely will call you tomorrow!
God is SO GOOD!
cherie

amongschoolchildren said...

NO WAY! I couldn't believe what I was reading! I called your mother today to congratulate her. I'm so excited for you. The short hair is gorgeous...now YOU look a little bit like Allie!

Alicia said...

So, so happy for you and Tim! One thing I can't help but think is that God has given you this child growing inside of you, and He will give you the grace throughout your pregnancy despite your health history. This is totally a God-thing, and I can't wait to hear how He works in and through you throughout your pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

You are just darling...inside and out. You radiate Jesus!

With love

aimee said...

Hi Stephanie, I found your blog and I am so inspired by it...you seem to say exactly what I need to hear..I was thinking about how you had been on all that medicine and got off of it and started your natural meds and have felt so much better..dont you think that was God working in your life..you have been off medicine that I am sure you shouldnt be on and be pregnant and it has had time to completely get out of your system...That is SO GOD taking care of that precious little one...I am so happy for your family..congratulations!

Melissa said...

CONGRATULATIONS!! My fourth child (boy # 4) was also a total surprise but what a beautiful blessing he has been. He made our family complete and has been such a joy to all of us. It was certainly God's will as it is with yours. This is a very exciting time for you. I'll be praying for an easy pregnancy for you and good health.
Oh, and your hair looks beautiful!! Love it!

Rachel said...

Wow Steph...Have you thought that maybe you are most healthy when you are pregnant? JK :) Wouldn't that be great!?!
Congrats my friend!!!

Patti said...

Praying for a healthy pregancy. I have that *jealous twinge* that you get when you hear that another woman is pregnant. I have a 10 month old and am in NO WAY ready for another baby, yet I just treasured being pregnant SO MUCH. God is so good and faithful, He has a plan for this baby!!

Monica said...

CONGRATULATIONS!
God made sure to find you and tuck this little miracle inside you to show you his awesome power! WHat a lucky little babe to have been given to such a wonderful, deserving family!
Also, your hair is beautiful and what you did is more beautiful! You will make someone very happy!
So glad I found your blog :)