THE post.

Tim and I had the shock of our lives Father's Day Weekend. I got home from the beach and started to have some weird things happening. I thought to myself, "when was the last time I had my period?". Life had been so busy, I absolutely could not remember. Was I late? No way. We were so careful. There is NO way I could be pregnant. Good thing because the drs just told me it wouldn't be a good idea.

My friend Deena and I were going to a wedding that night. Tim stayed home with the boys. He had no clue these thoughts were going through my head. In the car on the way to the wedding, I said to Deena (one of my best friends in the whole world)..."Deena, I think I might be late. Could we pick up a pregnancy test so I will quit having crazy thoughts?". She was excited but we were running late and couldn't stop until after the wedding. During the wedding, I talked myself out of it and convinced myself I was making it all up in my head. After all, it would be the WORST timing for this as my treatments were really starting to work and I seemed to be making a lot of progress.

So, on the way home we stopped at CVS. We had talked the whole car ride about what if I am, when would the baby be due, what if it was a girl, what if it was a boy... totally doing what girls do... IMAGINING. The whole time I was thinking..."but it would be IMPOSSIBLE!". There is just simply no way. And, Tim would D I E.

We stopped at CVS and as we walked in, Deena said, "What do you want me to pray?". I said, "I don't know. I will breathe a sigh of relief it is negative because of my health but if it is positive, I would be overwhelmed with thanks for the baby I have prayed and prayed to be able to have!".

It seemed like it took an hour for us to find the pregnancy tests then it seemed like it took another hour for the lady to ring us up. I couldn't wait to take it at home and didn't want Tim to know any of this was going on so we used the bathroom in CVS. :) It was so cute because Deena waited on me while I took the test. IT WAS IMMEDIATELY POSITIVE. I opened the door and held up the test. We started jumping and yelling and crying. The CVS people came to see if we were ok. We said, "ehh-hmmm. yes. we are fine." and darted out the door. The CVS lady came chasing us into the parking lot to bring me my purse I had left in there.

The world started to spin. Was this real? No way. How could I be pregnant? I thought I would have to wait years. The plan was for God to heal me and then we would plan (I used to know what that word meant... and this one-CONTROL)on trying for "number four" after much thought and prayer (and fun trying!!!).

AUGHHHHHHH!

Are you kidding me, God?? Really?? You have really done this for me?

What is Tim going to say? How am I going to tell him? Do I need to stop my natural stuff? Do I need to start back on antibiotics?

I am absolutely STUNNED.

Where am I again? Oh yeah, CVS parking lot with a positive pregnancy test..

Wait a minute!!

WHAT? HOW? Oh, God THANK YOU!!

God has given me the child I thought I would have to wait years for!!

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I already had a Father's Day card. I stuck the test in it after I got home and wrote a verse that God had given me on our honeymoon out of Malachi about our children. I sat on the back porch and prayed while Tim was watching T.V.

He came outside. I said, "I have a Father's Day card for you!". He said, "Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you so much honey." .....

He opened the card.

The pregnancy test fell into his lap.

Silence.

He said, "really???".

Deep breath. Deep breath.

Long conversation (about the faithfulness of God).

Deep breath.

Deep Breath.

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New Life.

Precious Baby.

Unplanned.

Desperately wanted.

Welcome to our family sweet gift from God.

You are SO loved.

I cut 10 inches off my hair today for Locks for Love. I am still getting used to it. Tim loves it and the boys told me I look like a princess so I guess that is all that matters. I prefer my hair long but it was so fun to think of it being made into a wig and I needed a change.

(FYI.. I stole this fun location idea from super cool photographer Rich Smith).

Yikes... 10 inches. Oh well. You only live once and hair grows back, right? Please don't tell me you liked my hair better long because I know I look way better with long hair but I took the plunge anyway!

I love this picture of the 3 boys sleeping in the same room. We aren't sure what to do with Lake because he is climbing out of his crib again. We tried putting him in the boys room this night but there was an awful lot of giggling going on. Not sure I am ready for this. BUT THEY WERE SO CUTE.

This is going to be a long, hot summer as I am already very nauseous. I am not exactly sure how far along I am but not more than 6 weeks. I started craving tomatoes which is exactly what I craved with the boys so... I am coming to terms with the fact I might have 4 boys in February. I told Tim I will just need one night in the insane asylum after we are told it is a boy so I can go crazy. Then, I will be up for the challenge. But, who knows maybe it is a girl. I already have a name for her if it is.

God knows. I am thankful His ways are higher than ours.

I just pray we are able to keep this gift for a long, long time.

We are still trying to process this and there is much fear but to God be the glory for all He has done in our lives!

Here is the Psalm Tim read over me the other night and inserted my name as he read....

"O Lord, 'Stephanie' rejoices in your strength.
How great is 'her' joy in the victories you give
You have granted 'her' the desire of 'her' heart
and have not withheld the request of 'her' lips.

You welcomed 'her' with rich blessings
and placed a crown of pure gold on 'her' head.

'SHE' ASKED YOU FOR LIFE, AND YOU GAVE IT TO 'HER'—
length of days, for ever and ever...

Surely you have granted 'her' eternal blessings
and made 'her' glad with the joy of your presence.

For 'Stephanie' trusts in the Lord;
through the unfailing love of the Most High
'she' will not be shaken.

Psalm 21