Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Lessons from the Sneaky Woman

Proverbs 7 is all about who I like to call the "sneaky woman". My boys have learned a lot about the sneaky woman and what to watch out for because she is for sure coming at one point or another in their lives. The sneaky woman is a prostitute, a liar, a homewrecker, and a smooth talker. BUT, this morning as I read about her, I decided I wanted to learn from her and why she is so seductive to men. Here are some things that struck me...
I am going to title this section
"Lessons from the Sneaky Woman"
"7 Practical Tips on how to seduce YOUR husband"

1. She was available at night.
2. She had good food at home.
3. She had a really cool bed.
(nice sheets and it smelled good v 16,17).
4. She was undistracted and made herself completely available to him &
 made him feel like the only man in the world.
5. She built him up.
6. She was intentional.
7. She was passionate.

As I read these things, I saw some new ways to safeguard my marriage from "the sneaky woman".
 The Bible says,
 "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."
Matt 10:16

So, lets learn how to be shrewd in our marriages. The definition of this word, "shrewd" is 
"intelligent, wise". 
How can we be wise in our marriages yet innocent as sweet little doves?
Let's learn from this slimy shrewd sneaky woman. The enemy knows the God-given needs of our husbands so he trains up women to take advantage of them. We are sheep among wolves!! The "sneaky woman" has been able to take down THOUSANDS of strong men. I don't want my husband to be the next one...
"For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men."
Prov 7:26

It isn't hard for me to love Tim. He is amazing and I am completely undeserving of him.
I joke that I married him for sex. :) That really is why we married so fast! Ha!!
The Bible says it is better to marry than to burn with passion. So we did.
But, just because we are married now, does the burning passion stop?

In the Christian world, we read a lot about how HARD marriage is and about AGAPE love but sometimes "EROS" and "PHILEO" are ignored.
I tell Tim that we have to have the most fun we can here because I a lot of this stuff won't exist in heaven. :) It is now or never. :).
I don't want to be a frumpy wife. I want Tim to think I am cute. I am thankful for what I call "Holy Spirit" #9" that God pours on our husbands heads to make them think we are cute. Like when-you-think-your-baby-is-cute-and they-really-aren't-kind-of-thing.
I am not talking about being ripped and perfect and spending 2 hours a day in a gym.
 I am talking about simply taking care of yourself for your man. Get some new perfume.
Ask him to go with you to pick it out.
Put on some makeup before he comes home.
Text him "Prov 7:18". I dare you. :)

I also want to be Tim's "friend" (phileo). That means maybe going with him to the driving range and hitting balls or listening to him talk about things he cares about that maybe I don't.
I want to be a good listener. I want to be his biggest cheerleader so the enemy doesn't send some cute girl into his life that tells him he is great and he is tempted by her.
He is already getting that at home.
The enemy strikes at our weaknesses. We have to ask God to show us our blind spots in marriage. He sends counterfeits to fill voids so that we take the bait. If you have a foundational need your husband isn't meeting, TELL HIM before the enemy sends someone who does. You can't fault your husband if you have never communicated your hurts with him. Don't let the enemy put a wedge in your marriage (through your minds).
 Hard, vulnerable communication can stop the distance before the enemy preys on it. Pray before you talk to him though.

I know some marriages are just plain hard. I will admit that, by the grace of God, mine isn't.
It isn't because of me. It is because Tim is a very unusual husband. He is very engaged and present. He is a servant. He is easy to love.
Our marriage is a refuge from the storms of life. We get hit with a LOT of trials but our marriage has been 95% bliss with 5% fights/ work/ misunderstandings/ sacrifice. We have gotten into arguments that we couldn't seem to get out of. We had to seek outside counsel and prayer from close friends to get us out.
We get in the flesh and the bliss collapses in an instant.
We are both leaders so sometimes things can get hairy fast... especially if I don't let him lead as God has called him to. 
The bliss is a product of the Holy Spirit's presence in our marriage. It isn't because we are so cute or fun.
Bliss comes from serving Jesus Christ side-by-side and being unified in HIM.
Build your marriage on the solid Rock.
The foundation being the Word, prayer, and serving together.
Tim knows I am CRAZY attracted to him when he reads his Bible or teaches Bible Studies.
It is his character that I love. I love how he protects and fights for our family.
The other night a group of guys were *mocking* him for having so many children.
He didn't budge. He came back with a smile and such love for us that I think they were dumbfounded.
He could have so easily complained about how much he sacrifices for us at that moment. But he didn't.
I overheard the whole conversation from across the room.
I felt vulnerable but he protected me.
Those are the kinds of things that make me want to give myself completely to him.
Spiritual muscles are much more attractive to me than big biceps. Although, biceps aren't bad either. :)

If your marriage lacks phileo and eros, and is 100% agape, ask God to pour His pure loves (all 3) into your marriage. God can create the perfect balance.

** Side note for any guys who may be reading this. We girls are hard-wired to respond... to follow. You have to LEAD. Read the Bible to her. Pray with her. Your wife will happily submit her mind, soul,and body to you if you are loving her well. Pornography will steal everything. Your wife may continue to submit her body to you out of obedience to God but you won't have her heart. Her heart is what you want. If you have her heart, she will give you her body.**

Good marriages DO exist single girls.
 It breaks my heart that I hear girls say that they don't even know if they want to get married because all they have seen of marriage is destructive.
The world mocks marriage.
The enemy tries to re-define marriage.
But, God's design for marriage is be the closest thing to heaven on earth. I NEVER dreamed love like this existed before God brought Tim into my life.
We have to "invest" into our marriages. Putting them first. That is getting trickier now that we have so many children with so many needs. And, we don't have family to babysit. My favorite thing in the world to do is to spend time talking to Tim early in the morning while everyone is sleeping or late at night while everyone is sleeping. Investing in our marriages doesn't have to be expensive but it does have to be intentional.
Keep your marriage bed pure... so that it is always a safe place where the enemy has no avenues in.
If you are having impure thoughts about another man, beg God's forgiveness. It is an illusion. I promise you. 
God has given you everything you need in Him and your husband.
Maybe your husband isn't relational or sensitive and your friend's husband is... don't fall for that trap.
The enemy gets us (wives) with our minds. The enemy gets our husbands with their eyes.
Although, we have to protect our eyes as well. Be careful of what you read. Even in magazines at the checkout.
They plant seeds in your head that turn into weeds that are hard to pull out. (Side note, I have been pulling weeds in my yard lately and really learning a lot about dealing with sin in my own heart. Weeds are WAY easier to pull when they are wet. GET IN THE WORD and allow the water of the Word to soak the soil of your heart. Then ask the Lord to pull out the weeds by the ROOTS... not leaving anything to come back. Turn completely from the sin so that it doesn't show back up in a month.)  I tell the single girls at the conferences that the "sex experts" in these magazines are THE LAST people you want to be gaining wisdom from. Sex isn't that complicated. It doesn't take all this "STUFF" to have a good sex life. God either blesses your sex life or he doesn't. And, believe me, He hasn't blessed theirs if they are going to lengths they are.
As 2 Christians in a marriage serving the God OF LOVE, we have been given access into a world these "experts" haven't. They will never find what they are searching for. Multiple partners, costumes, toys, etc...
ACCESS DENIED if you don't follow God's rule book. Try as hard as you want.

If you are single, STAY PURE. PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU... if you are in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, GET OUT. Today.
 Not tomorrow. Not tonight. NOW.
If your hand is causing you to sin, cut it off. Run like Joseph. Save your soul. Save your future marriage.
Turn from sin. Start obeying today and God can bless you. It isn't too late. God has good plans for you.
Sexual sin will destroy. It is Russian roullette but what you don't know is that the gun if fully loaded. 
The enemy promises immediate gratification with no consequences. It isn't true. Trust God. Run from it. 
Get away from a guy who is causing you to stumble. If He isn't protecting your purity now, what makes you think he will protect it later?

"Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord"
Acts 3:19

 I am determined. Determined to invest into BOTH my marriages. My marriage with my first love, Jesus, and my marriage to my second love, Tim. Everything else in my life is a product of these two relationships.

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."
Acts 4:13

I can't begin to describe how much this verse encourages me because I am not smart... I am very ordinary and there are many things I can't do but there is one very powerful thing I can do...
He is where we get our power, our courage, our wisdom, our love for people, & our words to speak. I hope if anyone is ever astonished by me it is because I have been with Jesus. Nothing else. I am learning that life really is simple... even if you have a heart for ministry. The one requirement for successful ministry is to spend time with Jesus. How do we do that? Prayer and studying His Word, and hanging out where He hangs out- with the poor, the downcast, and the broken.

I pray you are all encouraged, spending time with Jesus, and are safeguarding your marriages
(even you single girls are safeguarding your future marriages NOW).
Here are some things God has been teaching me during this time of reflection and quiet:
Love and Serve your husband before all others.
Don't let the sun go down on your anger.
Keep short accounts of anger.
Don't let bitterness take root and poison your soul.
Pray before you speak.
None of us are worthy of ministry.
None of us have an invincible marriage.
Marry a man who loves God.
God has very specific plans for the nation of Israel.
We are living in the last hour.
Take the Bible literally.
Watch your doctrine closely.
Ask God to teach you how to pray.
Eat healthy and exercise.
Love people where they are.
Find out what pleases the Lord.
Cry out for understanding of His Word.
When we see Jesus, we will be like Him. We will see Him as He is.
We can't earn our salvation but we can earn or lose rewards.
Invest into and encourage girls younger than you are.
Don't let offenses build up so high, you can no longer be vulnerable to people.
Homeschooling my children is one of the most intimidating things God has ever asked of me but also one of the most rewarding.
Read the Bible MORE than books by man so you won't be deceived.
Keep your bedroom a sacred and holy place.
Hide God's Word in your heart: Memorize Scripture.
I cannot do what God is calling me to do...but He can and He is faithful.
Protect your quiet time with Jesus... don't let your life crowd it out or everything will implode.
Walk in the Spirit in marriage or the enemy will win.
Focus on the needs of your husband.
Turn the TV off.
Share the gospel with someone today.
Spend more time in the Word of God than on facebook... or your phone... or in books and you will have victory over sin.
God is near in your suffering and has great gifts for you in the valley.
Don't be handicapped by insecurity.
God can save your marriage and make ALL things new.
**God leads single girls to godly husbands: Just pray, serve Him, and wait. Don't try to manipulate it. Marry a man to be able to serve God more powerfully and bring Him more glory.Marry a man that makes submission a no-brainer.
Bondage and Worship are mutually exclusive.
Jesus sets the captives free so that we can worship.
The blood of Jesus Christ purifies us from ALL sin- not just "some" sin.
Jesus is coming to restore EVERYTHING.
My passion in life is to: Spend time with Jesus, love and serve my husband, love my children and teach them the Word of God.

Love you girls!
Be blessed.
He is coming back for us...

"He must remain in heaven until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets."
Acts 3:21


Jill said...

You rock! I loved the post! Texted Steve, took the dare! ha! All smiles! Sent this link to a whole bunch of friends! I liked the part where you have "these things" not cause you are cute and have fun! Sometimes you just have to be straight forward! Again, keep preaching it sister!

Erin Southwell said...

A thousand Amens, girlfriend. Preach it!!

Anonymous said...

Just finally getting to read this post this morning and I just smiled all the way through! This is not popular ya know? BUT IT IS RIGHT! and awesome. I love too that God has given us the responsibility as a women to teach our children (sons and daughters) that sex is God created and in the context he created it in there is pretty much nothing that compares! The world sells a cheap version with severe consequences. We are always amazed at how so many christian homes raise up kids that sex is bad and stay away, like it's a dirty thing - to scare them into not having it before marriage. One of the things I will always remember and made a huge impact on me for life was that my mom would say, "Sex is wonderful! It's so much fun! God created it and it's so wonderful to bless our daddy. . ." She didn't need to tell me over and over to wait for God's best - her life made me want to.
well, just want to cheer you on! This is truth, and I get so pumped up to read it here. :)