Our Blessed Hope

"whatsoever things are lovely... 

think on these things"

Phil 4:8

It was a hot summer outdoor wedding. I went with my friend, Deena. 
( if you are reading this... I love you, Deena,!!! )
Tim kept our 3 boys. Reece was 5, Evan was 4, and Lake was 2. 

As we were sitting out in the sun, I started feeling nauseous. Really nauseous. The nausea got worse while we were eating under the tent at the reception. Was it because I was so hot or could I be.....? 

On the drive home, I told Deena I felt sick and that I might be pregnant. All of the sudden I couldn't remember the last time I had a period. 

I asked her if we could stop by CVS and get a pregnancy test. Deena and I went in together. I couldn't bare the thoughts of waiting. I went in the bathroom and took the test. I watched and waited and stared at the empty box on the pregnancy test. All of the sudden I saw the line. Clear as a bell, I heard these words in my heart... 
"She's here".  
I busted out of the bathroom stall and told Deena. We hugged and cried and jumped up and down. That is how I met my daughter, Hope. :) I have loved her desperately since her PINK line popped up in the CVS bathroom stall. 

I was nervous to tell Tim. We wanted a baby but we had been in such a heavy battle for my health, it was hard to imagine a pregnancy at that point. Tim fought that battle with me and for me. He paid for me to get to the best doctors in the country. He cleaned my IVs. He gave huge shots of thick medicine while I cried. He laid his hands on me every night and asked God to heal me. I am crying now as I remember. He really did drop me in (spiritually) through the ceiling in order to get me to Jesus. He never doubted God could heal me as the years of illness drug on.

(Single girls, please marry someone who can love you with God's love and who knows how to FIGHT for you. You have no idea what storms you will face in your life. You need someone who can lead you through the hurricanes that come without warning).

I believe God used my pregnancy with Hope to somehow jump start my immune system. I was healed during her pregnancy. 

It is WILD to look back at our family then. 
To remember where we were. 
To have never DREAMED where He was going to take us.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,

and no mind has imagined

what God has prepared

for those who love him.”

1 Cor 2:9

 Tim and I knew I was pregnant here and no one else did (except Deena). 
I LOVE that part of pregnancy. Such a sacred secret when only we know. 

I knew she was a girl before the ultrasound confirmed it.

We did our first suspenseful baby reveal with ice cream.

Our first PINK scoop.. our first pink anything.

She grew.

and grew...

 and grew...

I delivered her naturally in the hospital with no doctor. It was a traumatic delivery. But, she made it. 

And, our blessed Hope was born into the world on 2/13...

Named after the verse

Titus 2:13

"looking for the  BLESSED HOPE  and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,"

She was a tough newborn. Most of mine have been.

I remember waking up to these HUGE eyes looking at me in the middle of the night.

She reminded me of the cute-alien-squid-baby 

in Men in Black... lol.

 She had HUGE eyes and a huge personality.

I love her so much. She challenges us in parenting for sure. We have no idea how to parent... much less parent someone who is more confident than we are! Yet, she is fragile and beautiful.
(She has a secret addiction to her paci... still.) 

She is athletic. Maybe more naturally so than some of her brothers.

She is coordinated and a great dancer. She is LOUD. I have stopped praying for God to make her gentle and quiet as much as I pray for Him to make her a loud voice for HIM and His gospel.

She dove off the top bunk at our beach condo trying to fly like Peter Pan when she was 2.

She and I (and her newborn baby brother) got to ride in an ambulance because she had a concussion.

She also got lost at Magic Kingdom in the dark when she decided to try and hide from her brothers. I don't talk about that episode. EVER. EVER. EVER. 

Every night we thank God that He found her and brought her back when she was lost.

 One of her "superpowers" is friendliness. She is very out-going. She truly loves people. She talks to everyone. I have to tell her people need personal space. That is bizarre to her.

She talks to people at Costco while I shop 

(like the lady above in a wheelchair who she was holding hands with).

She loves and values friends. She tells everyone her name is "Hope: H-O-P-E". She loves her brothers. She says she doesn't want a sister. She loves her "Mimi"--my mom. (When Tim had to take another splinter out of her foot recently, she said she was going to think of Mimi so she wouldn't be scared).

She is the epitome of a "cool chick". She fists bumps and watches Ninjago.

Her husband is going to love her.

I wonder if she was born strong-willed because of the season I was in at the time. Seems my kids personalities parallel my spiritual walk at the time. When God gave her to me, I was fighting for my faith. Fighting to persevere. Refusing to give up.

She gets in trouble a lot. Not as much as she used to! We are making progress for sure.

We rejoice when she makes it through a day without getting in trouble.

 She is a leader. 

She is the leader of my "little 3". 

I have 2 groups. My "big 3" and my "little 3".

 Tim took her away this weekend on a daddy trip. He doesn't get a lot of one-on-one time with her so this was going to be very very special. She looks just like him.

She loves animals. She doesn't like to eat them. She about had a stroke when she learned people ate cows. She may be a vegetarian. I told her she doesn't have to eat a cow if she doesn't want to.

One of her dreams is to ride a horse. I talk to her about how Jesus (our Faithful and True Prince) is going to come for us on a white horse.

"Then I saw heaven opened, and a white horse was standing there. Its rider was named Faithful and True"

Rev 19

So, Tim took her to ride a horse.

They just happened to give her a white one.

We talk about her prince and that she will have to wait on him to come but that God will send him when the time is right. I call Tim "my prince". She says, "I like your prince, momma". 

I say, "I do too, honey".

I picked out a necklace for her with a key and a lock for Tim to give her. He told her that the key was the key to her heart that she has to save for her prince. We have it all on video. It is PRECIOUS. I wrapped her new princess gown and glass slippers in beautiful wrapping paper. We also wrapped long white gloves. Oh, I can't forget her very own... lip gloss.

The video is so sweet of her opening it all. She stops mid-way unwrapping and just goes and hugs Tim. 

Tim wore a suit to take her out to a fancy dinner. He was really trying to show her what a prince looks like when she says, "Daddy, will you be the Beast instead". Hahahahahaha. We never know what she is going to say. She is complex. She is so different than the rest of our children.

 We are fascinated by her constantly. 

She loved the saltine crackers and chocolate cake for dessert more than anything at dinner.

pause the music at the bottom and you can hear her reaction to her new dress:

She truly is lovely. Every night I pray for God to sculpture her heart in palace style and He is.

"May our daughters be like graceful pillars,
carved to beautify a palace."

Ps 144:12

She has a lot of sculpturing left to go. So do I.

It is a painful process but it is by loving hands who will never harm us.

 "And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.

We are the clay, and you are the potter.

We all are formed by your hand."

Is 64:8

God makes things beautiful.

He made her beautiful.

She is a gift to our family.

She is very loved.

My prayer is that she will fall in love with her heavenly father, the King of Kings.

The King sends princes.

I know he sent me one.

Happy 4th Birthday, my blessed Hope.

You are LOVED and you are LOVELY.

**I cannot wait to see the plans and paths God has for you.

Let's watch for the white horse together.

He is coming.