Saturday, April 26, 2014

Let "US" Cross Over to the Other Side

“Let US cross over to the other side of the lake.
And they launched out."
Luke 8:22

I texted my mom last night that our anthem for this season is this verse...
"Let US cross over to the other side".

My mom was in the hospital in Texas for almost 2 weeks where they found lesions on her spine and in her abdomen. She has been in so much pain. We are waiting to see if her breast cancer from 20 years ago has returned. It has been a terrifying week of biopsies and waiting.

"Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples."

2 weeks ago we were at Dollywood. Mom held the baby while we chased the kids around the park. The breeze and sunshine was heavenly. I got to ride a big roller coaster with Hope while she squealed with delight. All of her adrenaline dreams came true. We had an awesome weekend at my mom's house.

My kids would rather be at my parent's house than Disney World. Mom makes pancakes for them every morning and they get to sit in her super comfy recliners watching netflix movies. Mom's house is perfectly decorated as that is a love of hers.  Mom makes things beautiful. She loves to work in her yard and has flowers everywhere. I can't keep my 2 pots on my front porch alive but mom's yard is a sanctuary of flowers. 

 She is made in God's image so everything she touches is beautiful. You can tell where she has been because there is a trail of beauty and grace. 
Just like God.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." 
Ecclesiastes 3:11 

Last week, she made a cancer hospital in Texas beautiful. Sharing her faith with the doctors and nurses. My sister has been out there with her this week. 

But, as reality starts settling in for all of us, we are still in disbelief of this storm that came WITHOUT WARNING or suddenly. This one didn't show up on our storm detectors. Waves are now coming into the boat. We aren't on a sight-seeing boat ride. 
We are in jeopardy of drowning.

 "Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat."
So, last week when mom's blood pressure was 250/120, she called me from the hospital to tell me she loved me and that she thought I was wonderful in case she didn't make it. She was terrified she was going to have a stroke. So was I.
Was that the last time I was ever going to talk to my mom?
I kept going about my day getting children ready for baseball games.

But Jesus was sleeping.  
Jesus isn't a worrier. He doesn't lose sleep.

The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
I don't know about you but I relate the most to the "panickers" of the Bible.
This has been a good descriptive verse of where I have been the last couple of weeks.
We are human. We get SCARED.

 Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” 
You are right, Lord. I do have little faith. I need more. That is my prayer that I would have the faith that pleases Him. But what if I have faith in something that doesn't happen? Well, I would rather die "in faith" like the people in Hebrews did. Knowing that if what I do receive what I am asking for, God has something better in mind.
"All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, 
yet none of them received all that God had promised. 
For God had something better in mind"
Heb 11:39

I want to go down as a person with FAITH.
Where do we get this type of faith? Can we muster it up or breathe deep enough to tap into some sort of energy from within ourselves? NO.
"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
Romans 10:17

So, I press IN to God through His Word. If I would have been in that boat with the disciples, I would have jumped on Jesus' back. So, that's what I am going to do now. CLING. PRESS IN CLOSE. They knew He could save them. They went to him for help. No time for trying to get buckets to get the water out of the boat. Straight to Jesus. That reminds me of what happens in a crisis. No time for books and sermons by fallen men. The disciples didn't go to each other. They went STRAIGHT TO JESUS.

Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.
Ok, now I am imagining what I would have looked like in this part of the story.
I would have been on Jesus' back hanging on to his neck saying 
And in that instance.... 
total calm.

 The disciples were amazed. 
(**INSERT AWKWARD MOMENT as I climb down off Jesus' back.)

“Who is this man?” they asked. 
Getting myself back together, I look at Jesus in awe-- 

“Even the winds and waves obey him!”
Holy moment as I stare at Jesus in the perfectly calm sea.
My heart revealed. My faith lacking. My storm calmed.

God has revealed my heart to me during the last few weeks and my faith has come up short.
My mom and my dad are battling cancer. I love them so much that this is a nightmare. Every morning, I wake up and want it all to have been a bad dream. 

So, here I am, typing on my computer as I hear the birds sing outside my window. I love being around life right now (birds, babies, flowers...). 
I love being reminded that Jesus is the Prince of Life (Acts 3:15). That God is always PRO-LIFE. That agape love only gives. It never takes. 
That His grace is sufficient. 
That His Word will add to my (smaller than a mustard seed) faith and make it grow.

That every day counts.
That you need to write a letter to your parents and thank them for how they loved you and ask forgiveness for anything that you ever did to hurt them.
Love hard.
Believe BIG.
Ask for miracles.
Die believing even if you don't see knowing God has something better in mind.

So, I am asking you to pray for total healing of my mom. For her to have the faith she needs.
For me to stop strangling Jesus and accusing Him of not caring.
Lastly, I want to introduce you to my dear friend, Michele. She is beautiful. A model in the faith to me. Her husband can rightly divide the Word of God like a Bible ninja. 
They are AWESOME.
Read their story and note the date.

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more beautiful this one little word "US" becomes.
That is the key to our lives here.
We aren't alone. He is with us. That is why we do not fear in the valley of the shadow of death.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me"
Ps 23

God is helping me. I am going to be hiring a teacher's aid :). A girl to come along side me in teaching the children and caring for them so I can be free to be with mom and seek God during this time.

I went yesterday to my fun health doctor in Atlanta to start back on a regimen of good health. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this holistic doctor. I haven't seen him in years. I believe God used him in my healing years ago. He reminds me of a good wizard in Narnia or something. The Word says God has distributed gifts among believers. One of those is the gift of healing. Another is wisdom. I think this doctor may have both. I am so thankful for him. My immune system needs a boost. After having shingles twice, I made my appointment with him. He is helping make me strong so I can serve the Lord. I am changing my diet and will try to take better care of the Temple. Having so much cancer in my family is not a fun reality.

I pray you are encouraged. If you need faith, READ YOUR BIBLE.

I love this picture of mom minutes after Crew was born...

I love how Tim loves my mom and she loves him.
"God has given us eternal life
and this life is in his Son."
1 John 5:11


Anonymous said...

I am praying with you. for you.

Anonymous said...

I will be praying with you for your mom's healing. My mother has undergone cancer treatments for the last two years. I can so relate. All the "what-ifs" sometimes seem to almost take a choke hold around your life if you let them. You are so, so right. We must combat all the fear with the truth of God's word. Praying for her and for her daughters!!! Erin Lynn

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Sending many prayers.....

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Praying for you and your parents......

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Many prayers for your family. Your posts I think a BOOK IS IN YOU