Last Saturday morning, I was excited about my hair appointment! What a treat in this world of boys. Aren't hair appointments the best? I feel like a total queen. I think it is more therapy than anything... very expensive therapy... highway robbery, actually... but for the 1 hour I am there it is so worth it. But anyway, let me back up.
Tim has wanted a sports car since we have been married because our van is just plain NASTY... *defiled* may be a better word and he has a pick-up truck that he uses for maintenance of his commercial building. Both are very functional but not very fun. So, after 1 million hours of looking at cars on ebay, he took the plunge and bought himself a sleek new ride a year ago. He loves it. He tries not to idolize it but when the boys' bike handles slide down the sides of it, we all know by the color of his face that he might like it more than us. I don't like to drive it because I worry I will wreck it or pull up too far on a curb and Tim will come jumping out of the bushes.
One of the last times I drove it, I was driving to the airport to catch a plane when it started beeping and flashing and telling me the the tire pressure was out of wack and that I had to pull over immediately and go to the dealership. I almost missed my plane for them to tell me the back tires were slightly over their limits. It was VERY annoying. But I made my plane and no big deal.
Saturday was different...
I decided to take Tim's car to get the full pampering affect on my morning away. I leave Tim in charge of the boys and slip away into the sunset on the way to the Salon. When I am about 1/2 way there, enjoying my solitude and peace and quiet, it starts. BEEPING! FLASHING! Huge exclamation points saying WARNING, WARNING. Limited mobility issues!!! Overdrive hindered! WARNING!! Brakes worn down to dangerous levels!! Go immediately to dealership!
WARNING! Exclamation point! Proceed with Caution!! Brakes going in to lock-mode!! WARNING!
Everything is flashing and I am sweating and wondering why his car hates me. I get my phone out to call Tim and my battery is dead. I am starting to wonder if I am IN the Christine horror movie. Next, (I am not making this up) it starts showing me a picture of a car flipping over. huh???? Why is it doing this to me? Does it mean that it is about flip me over if I don't pull over immediately? Is it going to flip me over because of the one time I did pull up too far on the curb? I am bracing the steering wheel with all my might while my armpits are starting to sweat. It continues, WARNING!! BRAKES! STEERING! Exclamation Point! CAUTION!
I decided I was going to make it to the salon whether it flipped me over or not. I wondered if
EJECTING DRIVER was coming next because I was ignoring it. I figured out at this point that it is me against it and I was going to win. I am hanging on tight just in case it ejects me or flips me, but I am going to get a trim even if I am on a stretcher!!!! The MPH is jumping all around even though I am going the same speed. I am telling you... it is possessed. I finally make it to the salon. I am so thankful to be there.
Tim came and got me because I refuse to drive it anymore.
He drove it to the dealership... nothing.
The dealership checks it out and... nothing.
That's it. It is war.
On a totally different note, I have decided I want to be Amish. Tim thinks this is really funny.
I don't want to be dependent anymore so I am ready to cut the cord from dependency. But, it won't be Amish like you think.It will be the "New Amish". Stylish, trendy outfits and not so much of the whole working in the field thing. Just fresh veggies and good quality family time. And we get to live with all of our friends! I am still not sure how the whole thing will play out but is anyone interested?
In the mean time, I have decided that any money I spend shopping is actually helping the economy so it makes me feel patriotic. If I don't help stimulate the economy by shopping at Baby Gap, who will?